Friday, August 31, 2012

Rosemary, the multifaceted magickal herb (PBP wk 35)

According to Scott Cunningham, you can replace any unavailable herb with Rosemary when working magick. When I first came across this statement I did not really understand why this was the case.

It took me some research and actual interaction with the plant to fully understand why its so versatile.  Aside from adding great flavor to my cooking, Rosemary is one of the most widely used herbs in magickal practice.

It wasn't until I started to grow it in my garden that I was able to connect with the spirit of the plant. I absolutely love the scent it emits, the aromatics found in this plant are so high that you can practically catch a whif if you're standing a foot away.

I love to incorporate Rosemary into my cooking; I love to work on my kitchen magick every time I cook a meal for my family. The intention is always love, abundace, prosperity and happiness. I absolutely love baked Rosemary chicken, its flavor-full in the most decadent way.

I remember a few months back I was working on an uncrossing bath for myself. I incorporated rosemary, lavender, thyme and sage. As I filled the tub with hot water, I began to work with each plant's energy. When I came across Rosemary, I noticed that there was a spider with it's egg sack attached to the underside of one of the leaves.

During that time, I was having a lot of encounters with Spider, so I took this as a sign. I apologized to Spider for upsetting her home and promised to take her outside as soon as I finished my bath. I did some quick research over my phone's internet and found out that Spider's eggsack is called 'Spider pearls' and is actually a sign of good luck and used in magickal practice. Of course I couldn't just take Spider's babies, that wasn't even a choice for me. I explained to Spider that I would find her a better home, as I did that, Spider picked up her eggsack and began to web a link towards my incense holder. I watched mesmerized as Spider went back and forth from rosemary to incense holder until her web was strong enough to move her eggs. Spider actually decided to settle on the underside of my incense stick holder. I couldn't believe it, but took it as a good sign. I thanked her for trusting me and reassured her that I would take her outside as soon as I finished with my bath.

I did just as promised and placed my incense holder inside my rosemary and sage pot. I asked Spider to make herself at home and thanked her spirit for making itself known to me for the past few months.

The next day, I let my dog Luna out into the backyard and go out running errands. It wasn't until I got back that I remembered my incense holder. Now, if you knew my dog, you'd know how destructive she tends to be. I for sure thought my incense stick holder was a goner. I checked my rosemary & sage pot and just as expected my main altar's incense holder was gone. I searched the entire backyard and found nothing. I'd covered every inch and almost given up when I decided to ask for help.

I stood there, grounded myself and drew a circle with a branch I found. As soon as I close the circle and look down I see a small white feather, which reminded me of Indigo Witch's message about my angels. Whenever I find a tiny white feather, its a sign my angels are there to guide and protect me.

Immediately after I see the feather I look about 8 feet to my left and what do I see? My incense holder! I couldn't believe it! I'd searched every inch and didn't see it before, and there it was, on the ground, some feet away from where I stood. I thanked the elements and my angels, closed the circle and inspected my incense holder. Surprisingly enough, the damage was minimal. There was only a small piece chipped off. Luna usually destroys any wooden thing! I was definitely lucky. I've had this holder for years, it speaks to me because it has a metal Sun; and well, it was a gift from my sister.

Here's another Rosemary related anecdote:

Not too long ago, I came across this recipe for watermelon water with rosemary. I made this refreshing drink during the first full moon of the month of August. I was actually thinking about my ex as I made it, I wanted him to come back and see me.

I like to have a small celebration during every Esbat. It's a very simple gathering, usually just another friend and myself.  We drink a glass of wine in honor of Goddess, play music and relax. It's a nice time to have a one-on-one with Goddess. Sometimes I cast petitons, others we just eat and drink. We like to take in the beauty of the moon along with Goddess's blessings.

During the first Full Moon of August my friend came over for a small celebration. We had dinner and sat outside with offerings for Goddess. We listened to music and talked about what we wanted to manifest in our lives. We drank the watermelon & rosemary water as we enjoyed the wonderful full moon. I remember 'he' was on my mind, I actually had a heart-to-heart with Goddess about my feelings for this guy. I wondered if there was anything worth saving between us, if his intentions were honorable, if we were meant to be...

Anyway, the next day, I decided to make a floor wash to cleanse the house and bring in loving energy, and of course I decided to use rosemary. As I mopped the house and asked to rid it of negativity and fill it with love, 'he' crossed my mind and I got lost daydreaming about his return. That Friday, 'he' calls me and tells me he's coming to see me for the weekend. :) :p

I feel Rosemary played an important role for me during the entire month of August. 'He' actually made up for the fact that he sort of ruined my birthday the previous week. I don't know if we are meant to be, or if our paths are just crossing once more for the time being; what I do know is that I trust Goddess's guidance. He's in my life now, my feelings for him are still very present. I'm not rushing into anything because we are both going through some changes, all I can do is enjoy the now.

Here's some magickal attributes of Rosemary, from Scott Cunninghams Encyclopedia of Magical Herbs.

Name: Rosemary (Rosemarinus officinalis)
Folk Names: Compass Weed, Dew of the Sea, Elf Leaf, Guardrobe, Incensier, Libanotis (Greek), Polar Plant, Sea Dew
Gender: Masculine
Planet: Sun
Element: Fire
Powers: Protection, Love, Lust, Mental Powers, Exorcism, Purification, Healing, Sleep, Youth
Magical Uses: Rosemary, when burned, emits powerful cleansing and purifying vibrations, and so is smouldered to rid a place of negativity, especially prior to performing magic. It is one of the oldest incenses.
    When placed beneath the pillow rosemary ensures a good sleep and drives away nightmares. Laid under the bed it protects the sleeper from all harm. Rosemary is also hung on the porch and doorposts to keep thieves from the house and is carried to remain healthy. Placed in the bath it purifies.
    A chaplet of rosemary, worn, aids the memory, while the wood, smelled often, preserves youthfulness. To ensure the latter add a rosemary infusion to the bath water.
    Rosemary has long been used in love and lust incenses and other mixtures, and healing poppets are stuffed with rosemary to take advantage of its curative vibrations. Rosemary infusion is used to wash the hands before healing work, and the leaves mixed with Juniper berries are burned in sickrooms to promote healing.
    If you wish to receive knowledge or the answer to a question, burn rosemary on charcoal and smell its smoke. Rosemary is also grown to attract elves, and the powdered leaves wrapped in linen cloth and bound to the right arm dispel depression and make the emotions light and merry.
    Rosemary is generally used as a substitute for frankincense.

Friday, August 24, 2012

Quitting - My Quest To End Bad Habits (PBP wk 34)

I've been posting about my many negative habits and my current attempt to turn things around. I feel that I'm making slow progress though. Ideally, I'd have my shit together by now, but for some reason I'm finding it hard to get motivated enough to make permanent changes.

I guess I shouldn't be so negative about my progress. I have made some major changes, I'm just not where I envisioned myself.

I decided to blog about "quitting" for this week because I'm obviously having issues quitting certain things in my life.

"I wish I could quit you."
As of lately, "he" (my guy) has been my addiction. A bad one at that. He flips my world upside down every time; yet, I can't and don't want to imagine my life without him. Is that so wrong of me? Am I damaging my self and my practice by allowing him back in my life? I can't help but think of that line from Brokeback Mountain, "I wish I could quit you."

I know that I am strong. I've been through hell and back, and I've never felt more in control of my life as I do now; this is all thanks to "The Path." As long as I keep grounded and realistic about my expectations with him I feel I'm fine. However, there are those times when my feelings simply override my logic. When this happens, my energy drops and I'm a typical girl with guy issues. How lame is that?

I can't help but think about that time I read Marina's cards and well, her recent divorce came up. I asked her how she was doing, and her whole aura shifted. I could feel her energy lower, her sudden emotional change. At that moment, I thought "wow, we're all the same; even this strong powerful witch priestess suffers from heartache." :sigh: Love can either make you or break you.

How do experienced witches deal with these things? I'm curious to know how others handle these situations. I've tried not loving this guy, I know that he's not ideal for me... somehow, and in spite of my logic, I've yet to remove him completely from my heart. Even if he wasn't back in my life I'd still love him. You can't chose who you love, you love because the heart loves. It gives without question or reason.

Even if we aren't meant to be, he will always have a special place in my heart. That's the thing about Leo's, we give unconditionally.

One thing I need to make clear, just because I have feelings for this guy and I allow myself to get lost in the moment with him, doesn't mean that I'm a doormat. I stand my ground when it counts. I have to, otherwise he'd take control; and as a Leo, I need to be in control. We're currently in a long distance relationship, which of course, is NEVER a good idea. His job keeps him working almost every day of the week, but whenever he has weekends off he comes to see me. This is about every two weeks or so. Which works for me, I miss him, but I can't deal with having him every day. It'd never get anything done. We spend too much time in bed; sex and sleep takes over both of us when we're together.

My major issues come with living in the moment and completely neglecting my duties. I don't drink as much as I did in college. I used to enjoy the party scene way too much back in the day. As the years passed I lost interest; I tend to revert to my party girl days whenever friends come into town, but even then I don't get drunk as I used to. I do enjoy it from time to time though, once I get in party-mode, I want to go all night. It just happens that whenever "he" comes to visit, I tend to drink a bit. We like to play beer pong with friends, and most of the time end up going to bed late and waking up even later. I drink too much, sleep too much and end up taking over 2 days to recuperate after he's gone. So, this behavior is only acceptable every once in a while... actually, it isn't really acceptable, but it sure is fun.

Aside from my addiction to spending time in and out of bed with "him," I really need to get a grip on my eating habits. I've failed miserably at keeping up with a healthy diet. For some reason, I've completely thrown caution to the wind for the past month. Fast food and lack of exercise is definitely having a negative effect on my appearance. I need to regain control.

I'm actually looking forward to having my sister and her girl friend move in with us. They are seriously healthy eaters; my sister in law has lost soo much weight in past few months. It will definitely help out to eat healthy and work out as a family unit. There are so many changes currently under progress at the moment that it's a bit harder to commit to a routine. I feel that once everyone is settled things will definitely change for everyone.

My goal is to make them all good ones.
What do I plan to do? Well, for starters, I will work out more and eat better. Yoga in the morning always helps me start off my day on a good note. Zumba in the afternoon keeps my energy high.
I really want to incorporate jogging, but I'm so out of shape that this activity definitely proves to be a challenge. I can dance for hours, do yoga for over an hour, but jogging kicks my ass.

Eating healthier will have to wait until we're all settled. At the moment, we are going through the moving process and until we finish and settle down it will be hard to stick to healthy eating. I'm trying to keep my calorie intake to a minimum to balance out what I'm not consuming. One high calorie meal a day, and the rest is healthy snacks and lots of salads.

I keep wanting to buckle down and catch up with the Pagan Blog Project, but of course, life gets in the way. I have so many drafts that I've yet to finish and post. So, I am making a commitment to myself to finish and post at least 3 entries a day. Otherwise the project will end and I will be left behind, and I really want to finish this project with everyone else. I'm enjoying it so much, but obviously not making it a priority. This will change.

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

The Sunshine Award ^_^

I've been nominated for the Sunshine Award by A Year and Day Wicca. ^_^
I'm honored! Thank you so much for the nomination! :P

Here are the rules:
1. If you are nominated, you must blog a post linking back to the person/blog that nominated you.
2. You must answer some questions, nominate ten fellow bloggers and link their blogs to the post!
3. You should comment on your nominees’ blogs to let them know you’ve nominated them.

The Questions:

1. Who is your favourite philosopher?
Friedrich Nietzsche

2. What is your favourite number?
I'd have to say, the number 3. :)

3. What is your favourite animal?
Dogs of course :) my favorite familiars.

4. What are your Facebook and Twitter URLs?
I think my blog is enough ;)

5. What is your favourite time of day?
Twilight hehe I'm a night owl.

6. What was your favourite vacation?
Mazatlan Mexico ^_^ Beautiful Beaches!

7. What is your favourite physical activity?
Yoga and Zumba!!!

8. Favourite non-alcoholic drink?

9. What is your favourite flower?
Sunflowers ^_^

10. What is your passion?

I have a passion for books & literature.
Family & Friends.
and of course, The Craft... My Path.

And here are the nominated Bloggers:

Lacee - Pagan Ways... Pagan Days
Ramblings of a Witchy Bookworm
The Faery Enchantress
Crafty Sandi
Confessions of a Modern Witch
Lazy Witch
Book Of Mirrors
Wicked Musings of a Witch
Mom's a Witch
Samhain Moon

Friday, August 17, 2012

My Quest for Balance: Questioning My Motives (PBP wk 33)

Finding the balance between the mundane and the magickal is definitely proving to be a bit of a challenge. I'm not only having trouble finding a healthy balance in everyday life, but also on a personal level.

I wrote before about the recent changes in my life; starting with my family's sudden move, to embarking in a new business, and the most recent change: the ex -who's definitely confusing me now that he's back in my life.

I guess that I've been waiting for these changes for so long that I didn't really prepare for the actual manifestation. I'm a bit overwhelmed actually. The most stressful aspect is the fact that the ex is back; I hate to sound like such a girl, but this guy is my kryptonite. I've been in love with him for over two years... Yeah, I know, can you say, MOVE THE F ON? Ha-ha

I've fantasized about how it would be to have him back in my life for so long... but they were just fantasies; I didn't really expect them to manifest. I'd daydream about how it would be to have him back in my life. These day dreams were so vivid that I might've accidentally brought him to me. Every single thing I've imagined happening, has actually happened. Coincidence?

I know that a lot of pagans and witches in the community look down on love spells; I've listened-in to enough podcasts to be aware of the consequences love spells bring into the picture.

Is a vivid imagination considered spell casting?

The phrase, "be careful what you wish for" comes to mind.

Long distance relationships are never a good idea; he's been showing up every two weeks (which is actually ideal), but after spending time with him I get lost in romantic notions...

It's a bit annoying actually. I'd finally gotten to the point where I was happily living; he'd cross my mind every now and then but it was healthy. I was back to my normal self, I was focused in my craft, I was stress free and happy; thinking of him had gotten easier. The song 'A little bit stronger' by Sara Evans comes to mind as I'm typing this.

I'm such a contradiction; I know he's bad for me, yet I can't banish him from my life.
Or well, I could, but I don't want to.

Whenever I go to Marina for a reading he always comes up, apparently we've maintained some sort of psychic/mental connection this whole time.

I found it interesting whenever he'd pop into my head at random moments without a trigger. (Usually something would trigger a memory of us; something specific would remind me of him, and I'd allow myself to enjoy the memory.) For a while though, he'd hardly cross my mind; these triggered memories would happen sporadically, which was a sign I was healing... Or so I thought.
It was around late April or early June when I realized that he'd randomly pop into my head without any triggers. This was a tad confusing at the moment. I was doing so great without him, then all of the sudden I'd be watching a movie that had NOTHING to do with love or relationships and memories of us would take over, like, very specific detailed memories. I didn't understand where this was all coming from, until of course, Marina pointed it out. It made sense, whenever he'd think of me I'd have these random but very specific memories... we call each other with our minds it seemed. 

I even think I did some astral travel without really trying. I remember a very specific yet blurry dream with him. Usually my experiences with travel have been blurry, I only get a sense of what I'm doing or who I'm with. I'm not even sure it's considered travel.

During this one dream, everything else was blurry except for him. We were in a room, and he was sleeping. I was just laying on his bed watching him sleep. Then something woke me, I was annoyed and upset because I'd been disturbed from such a good dream. I had this strange feeling my dream was more than just a dream though.

Usually when I'm dreaming and wake up half way I can usually go back into my dream; I like to finish the quests I take in dream land. I'm curious and I like the adventures my dreams provide. Also, my dreams are very clear and vivid, so I think I can differentiate between a regular dreams and a traveling dream. (Then again, I'm not an astral travel expert, so I could be wrong.)

Well, during this specific dream, I realized it was about him, so of course I had to go back. I went back into my dream, same room, same bed, only he was no longer there, he'd gone to the restroom.
Usually, I have full control of my dreams, so I can make things happen. In this dream I had absolutely no control. I could see him in the restroom but could not interact. This was around 5am, which is the time he usually gets up for work. So who knows, I might've traveled or maybe it was just a dream.

I remember on a different occasion he came into one of my dreams, this was after my dog had died; he was comforting me, which actually helped me a lot during that time. During another dream, he even tried to help me figure out how to work my car's stereo. Random, I know.

I have to admit that I sorta saw him coming back into my life...
I was doing a personal reading with my oracle deck and when I asked about him, the oracle showed me he missed me, and would be coming back into my life, the oracle adviced me to not lose hope. At the time, I didn't understand why I'd get a message to not lose hope when he was no longer available. It felt a bit cruel.

A few weeks later, he's contacting me & drives to see me on impulse.
It's been quite a ride since then.

I've realized that he takes way too much of my energy. I neglect obligations when he visits, drink way too much and spend the following week trying to recouperate, emotionally and physically.

He was supposed to visit today actually, but since I definitely do not have the energy for the aftermath week, I simply asked for him to work all weekend. He called me earlier to let me know he can't make it. Hehe =P

Part of me misses him and wants him here, but I know better. I have so much on my plate right now, spending time with him in oblivion will definitely not help my case.

I need to focus & get back on track before I can even consider anything more than what we're currently doing. I've been doing a lot of soul searching and even though I desperately want him in my life I simply can not allow myself to lose focus. He's too distracting, he takes too much of my energy. I'm even annoyed that I'm writing about him here! haha But alas, this is what's currently happening in my life, and so I should address it accordingly.

In my quest for balance, I need to question my motives and actions...

Friday, August 10, 2012

Learning to Persevere (PBP wk 32)

I have completely fallen off the sanity wagon.

The last post I remember working on was about love during the "L" weeks. (By the way, I just realized it was week 23 and this is week 32! Interesting coincidence.)

That was sooo long ago.

I remember I didn't even finish the post when my ex made his way back into my life...

It all happened so suddenly; one week I'm writing a draft about what it means to love someone that's no longer there, and the following week he's contacting me. He shows up out of nowhere and turns my world completely around. I tried to keep up with the blog but apparently not hard enough. It's not like I gave up on the path completely, I simply lost focus.

I took a detour and ended in oblivion...

I'm so disappointed in myself.
I forget everything around him.. that's never good. He clouds my vision. This is obviously not a good sign. :sigh:

I have to learn to deal with these feelings. I've realized these past two months that they block my personal growth. Marina mentioned this during my last reading, she said my energy was low.

The heart wants what the heart wants and no amount of logic will defer it from loving...

That doesn't mean that I need to become a blinded idiot. I simply can not allow myself to get so lost again.

Mercury's retrograde is over, any confusing aspect of it is wearing off and with that, my focus is back on track. I'm seriously annoyed at myself for allowing myself to get SO out of control.

I've doubled the amount of work I have to do, I'm dealing with unresolved feelings, neglecting other aspects of my life, and giving away my power.

It's time to get back on track!!!

I Will Persevere.

There is definitely an energy shift in my life. There are so many blessings currently manifesting.

The changes that are coming are leading my family and loved ones into a prosperous future.

I'm excited!!!

I need to regain focus in every aspect of my life. As long as I keep sight of my ultimate goals I will stay on track.

I will persevere, no matter the obstacles I might encounter I WILL PERSEVERE.

Learning to persevere is learning to persist in any undertaking; maintaining a purpose in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement.

"I Get Knocked Down" lyrics are playing in my head as type this.

I trust in the Universe, I believe that the answers to the questions I seek will come to me at the right moment in time.

I just need to have patience, I need to keep focus of what I want to accomplish.


“Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.” –T.S. Eliot Poet
“The greatest test of courage on earth is to bear defeat without losing heart.” –Robert G. Ingersoll, Poet

“We can do anything we want if we stick to it long enough.” –Helen Keller
“The probability that we may fail in the struggle ought not to deter us from the support of a cause we believe to be just.”–Abraham Lincoln

“True courage is like a kite; a contrary wind raises it higher.” –John Petit-Senn, French Poet

“It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. In this life we get nothing save by effort.” –Theodore Roosevelt

“The Difficult is that which can be done immediately; the Impossible that which takes a little longer.” –George Santayana, American philosopher and poet

“Fall seven times, stand up eight.” –Japanese Proverb

“The greatest oak was once a little nut who held its ground.”–Author Unknown

“Saints are sinners who kept on going.”–Robert Louis Stevenson

“If we are facing in the right direction, all we have to do is keep on walking.” –Buddhist Saying

Friday, August 3, 2012

Patience is a Virtue (PBP wk 31)

September 12, 2012

Patience is defined by:
1. the quality of being patient, as the bearing of provocation, annoyance, misfortune, or pain, without complaint, loss of temper, irritation, or the like.
2. an ability or willingness to suppress restlessness or annoyance when confronted with delay.
3. quiet, steady perseverance; even-tempered care; diligence.

Patience is one of the keys to living and walking in this path; it's necessary when casting spells, and waiting for results, during meditation, and most importantly when dealing with pesky and annoying people.

The saying, "Patience is a Virtue" is one I constantly chant as my personal mantra when dealing with unwanted situations. In all honesty, I used to be a lot more impatient; however, since I began this path I've found myself with a new found sense of tolerance, self control, and calmness. This might be because I'm more in touch with my emotions, I feel more centered, more secure, a lot more stable. This helps when I find myself in situations where I'm highly annoyed, or when I'm close to running out of patience. I'll admit, I've been close to magically spanking a few disrespectful, condescending, ignorant fools.

It's hard to not use magick when in these type of situations. I've been close to casting curses at individuals that simply deserve a good smacking. I mean, as it is, when in this path, one must be careful with the thoughts that cross our minds. As our abilities develop, we find that things happen even when we're not entirely set out on an actual manifestation. On multiple occasions I've had thoughts manifest, and that's without casting a spell. Therefore, it's important to keep our minds centered.

Patience is a virtue that needs practice.
When casting spells, we sometimes tend to expect immediate results. Patience teaches us to wait. The Law of Attraction states that "Anything we need comes to us at the perfect time," like attracts like, if our intention is clear and we trust and have faith, it will come; we just need to have patience and wait for our desires to manifest. If we constantly second guess ourselves after casting a spell, we pull away energy from our desires, yo-yo-ing with the intention we've set out into the Universe.

As of lately, I've struggled with keeping my patience. I have this idea of how I want my life to be, and I know that things are changing for the best, I just wish I could fast forward through all the mess and get to my destination; but of course, this isn't how life works. I'd be missing out on the important lessons life has for me if I were to skip it all. I'm struggling to keep up with my resolutions, with my living situation, and this long distance relationship.

"Patience is a virtue."

I did a reading for myself just last night. I'd been thinking about Temperance for this post; Temperance showed up as the base for my anchor, and also in my main spread. When this happens, the cards are telling you to pay extra attention to this energy.

Temperance is about moderation, when it appears in a reading we are being cautioned to have patience and wait calmly. We must learn to compromise in order to find satisfactory solutions. It helps to keep our emotions balanced, this card represents integrating opposite forces successfully and with harmony. 

My reading actually had a desirable outcome; it showed me that things are happening as they should, change is imminent and necessary. I just need to ride it out. Success is in my future, I just need to focus on keeping myself balanced.