Friday, December 20, 2013

Learning from the Zodiac (PBP 2013 wk 52)

I've always been drawn to the astrological signs, but I guess that holds true for most old souls. I remember flipping through the newspapers or magazines searching for the Horoscopes in order to gain some type of insight into who I was as a Leo.

I know that this isn't a science but to me, it makes sense. As you go through life you realize that you make easier connections with certain people that have similar personalities or personality traits. For me, this is easier to recognize via their astrological sign. The 12 Zodiac Signs represent the major traits shared by all those born under each zodiac.

I did a quick search for my zodiac sign and found this description at Universal Psychic Guild .

Your element: Fire
Your ruling planets: The Sun
Symbol: The Lion
Your stone: Peridot
Life Pursuit: To lead the way
Vibration: Radiant Energy
Leo's Secret Desire: To be a star                         

Love triumphs over all for this sign, which is ruled by the heart and operates from this dimension too. Leo's are born fortunate. Charismatic and positive-thinking they attract not only an abundance of friends and opportunities, but manage to survive life's stormy times with style and good humour.
Once a Lion is committed to a relationship, they are totally devoted and faithful. Should their heart or trust be broken they never forgive or forget. When a relationship breaks down (even a long standing one) they can disappear into the sunset without a backward look. Leos can cut ties, and leave others heartbroken, but usually there is a good reason why they have broken a tryst. For a Leo, when a relationship is over, really over, it is over for good.
There are three levels of soul-evolution of the Leos. The highest is represented by the Sphinx; wise beyond their years and great teachers to others. The second is the Lion, King of the Jungle, ruled by ego but always protective and sustaining of those they love. The last is the Lion Cub, immature and undeveloped, frightened by anything new. These Leos cling to others (in the mode of the child not wanting to leave its mother's side).) They can't bear to be alone.
No matter what level they have attained, all Leos are trendsetters, leaders and adventurers. Their weakness is their pride. This is one sign where the saying "flattery will get you everything" applies, but be warned criticism will slam the relationship door right in your face.

For me, these general descriptions of my personality fit. I'm not making the assumption that this is the case for everyone; for many skeptics these general descriptions say little about their own personalities. From experience, however, I've found that even though some people may not necessarily agree or admit to certain aspects of these traits, they actually happen to show signs of them in their personalities.

Whenever I'm trying to gain further insight into someone that I don't personally know, I always ask for their sign. At times, I can even guess their sign based on descriptions of behavior and personality traits.

I know that I get along with almost any sign, or well, mostly every sign. There are certainly some signs that I clash with but overall I get along with everyone. I have found however, that certain signs draw me in more. I surround myself with these signs because we are compatible and we click.

I have 5 Virgo close friends, 3 Aries, 3 Sagittarius, 2 Gemini and 2 Scorpio friends. I've noticed that among these similar traits, at times, I'll find extreme differences in personalities. For instance, I have the most friends that are Virgos, they fall on either one extreme or the other of the Virgo spectrum --they're either meticulous, sexually reserved, and calculating or impulsive, extroverted, and sexually wild. Both extremes are analytical and use their logic and judgment above all, but their overall their personalities are opposite.

For me, finding these differences is fascinating.

I've dated in the past, Capricorn, Tauro, Pisces, Leos and most recently a Sagittarius. I clash way too much with my own sign, but I definitely enjoy and appreciate the genuine love and appreciation we have for one another. Sagittarius draws me in, but immediately turns me off with how vicious they can be when upset.

For some reason, I've refrained from dating Scorpios since my dad is one and my middle sister's girlfriend and life partner is also one. From past experiences I know that their overbearing and sometimes controlling personalities can be toxic and difficult to deal with. Having reservations about dating a Scorpio has more to do with my dad being one than anything, I refuse to add on to my "father" issues. haha

Although, I have to admit. There's this one old college friend whom I've always been attracted to... we've maintained a "flirtationship" throughout all these years and talk about hooking-up every now and then. The chemistry and attraction is definitely there but what holds me back is the fact that he's a Scorpio. haha

Now, my best friend, and roommate. The one I'm currently staying with is a Scorpio and I could NOT love her more. I click with the sign immediately I just don't want to date it. haha But of course, this might change in the future.

My most recent "relationship" was with a Sagittarius. I was immediately drawn to him, I loved spending time with him, the chemistry was absolutely there. We clicked until things had unexpected turn of events. When this happened, everything turned sour. Sagittarius can be very blunt, honest, and at time viciously cruel when they want to cause emotional pain. I know this very well since my youngest sister is one. She can be the most positive, loving, individual until she's going through her own issues and dealing with her shortcomings. When this happens, she lashes out and openly hurts others emotionally. I understand that this comes from her inability to address her issues in a healthy manner. And even though, what Sagittarius say in the heat of the moment hurts, it usually holds some truth to it. The issue is not so much on the message, but more on how it's delivered.

Like I said, I was beginning to get attached to my Sagittarius friend, but his behavior when going through a rough time definitely left me wishing for less "ouch" and more "love."

Over the week, I've spent it mostly with my Virgo *gay & male* best friend, my Scorpio *female, straight* best friend and old college roommate, and my Aries *straight, female* high school and college friend. We had a discussion over my Sagittarius fling and their frustrations were definitely evident. Mainly at me. I went through ups and downs with that Sag fling and they were witness to how it affected me.

I confessed I had another rendevouz with him the day before my trip and of course they shared their views and opinions about the subject matter.

I understand where their frustration comes from. I get emotionally involved and get hurt from time to time, and easily forgive others because I can relate to them in one way or another. My friends however, are not quick to forgive. So, they are annoyed at the fact that I was crying about this a couple of weeks ago and now I'm completely nonchalant about our latest hook up.

I honestly don't know what may happen in the near future. I've come to the conclusion that I don't like to be in situations where my feelings are purposely hurt, and He does that. So, even if we can get past the bullshit, the bottom line is, when push comes to shove he will behave the same way.

Lesson Learned.

Or well... Lesson in progress. I know my head is telling me to simply stay away, but my heart center up until recently was sending me the opposite way. I guess being out of town for a week after an unexpected hook-up was the best thing I could do.

I'll be in town today and back to reality. :)

I feel incredibly blessed to have had the opportunity to reconnect with my twin souls. I was able to celebrate the Full Moon, and enjoy it's wonderful energy with my loved ones. ^_^


Friday, December 13, 2013

Yearnings... (PBP 2013 wk 51)

Monday, December 16, 2013

I tend to fall behind and get sidetracked, it's my inability to fully juggle all the projects I'm currently working on. I feel, I take on too many things and sometimes have a hard time focusing all my energy into finishing one. I'm so behind with the Pagan Blog Project that we are now entering the last two weeks of it and I've skipped most of the entries. smh.

I will admit, and as much as it pains me to do so, that the main reason why I get the most sidetracked with my projects is because I get involved with someone and get lost in the excitement of the relationship. ... I'm aware this is not ideal, and quite honestly, it's quite annoying. I'm very intense about most things I do, I mean come on, I'm a Leo --passionate, intense, and loyal.

I'm not ashamed of my emotions, they are part of who I am; just as my passionate way of being is another aspect of the personality that defines me, my intensity makes me the care and love deeply. It's not ideal, but it's what makes me who I am.

I know I've discussed this in the past, it's a lesson that keeps reoccurring in my life, and I know it's a lesson that's party of my soul lesson's for this lifetime, in fact, my tarot profile shows the 3 of swords as a life lesson, which explains why the love department always manages to dishevel my life.

The most recent experience had me dragging for the past few weeks. I feel I'm back to normal, but who knows if I'm completely over it. More on this subject later, these are aspects of my life that I need to put in writing in order to learn from them better. I've spent my share of time meditating on the subject matter, and I've come to many realizations, but even though I know better, for some reason I'm still impulsive and somewhat careless of the consequences. I feel, that I rather deal with the aftermath rather than regret not acting on a gut feeling.

Since this post is about yearnings, I guess that aspect of my life fits since I yearn to have a loving, caring, honest, and sexually driven relationship with someone that is compatible with me and that will take me for who I am, flaws and all.

The main reason why I chose "Yearnings" for this week's post is because my yearnings are driving me towards what my soul wants. Or at least, that's how it feels. Life is finally aligning it self towards my higher purpose it feels. Or well, towards a goal I had given up due to unfortunate events and unexpected issues. I'd like to go back to school and finish my degree, specifically, I want to graduate from the University of Texas. I had to take a long hiatus from school, it was disappointing but necessary. The lessons I've learned along these years have changed me for the better, they've given me the skills I need to value and manifest my life and lead it towards a better future. I feel like I'm following my path. I had an intense strong heart chakra reaction while I was attempting to log into my school to request a transcript, I felt with all that I this intense need, yearning, want, and desire for this one aspect of my life I let go of not too long ago. I want this. ... and I will manifest it.

I'm currently in Austin, or well, an outside city, Leander. I've reconnected with my college Roommate. A very close friend of mine that has been a big part of my life. We lost contact, life got on the way and we both went our separate ways. We've been through much and we've grown and changed but our friendship is still intact. I feel incredibly blessed. ^_^

I'm big on signs and coincidences, I mean, I'm a witch after all. I'd been thinking about her a lot in November, her birthday came around and I contacted her. As it turns out, the Universe was working to reunite us. She finally dropped the deadweight from her cheating boyfriend and is now single. Her boyfriend hates me by the way. He believes I'm a lesbian and I want to be with my Roommate, haha. I mean, come on! If I were a lesbian, WE WOULD BE TOGETHER! haha Anyway, he's out of the picture, we are back in touch and I'm absolutely, positively happy about this.

My Roommate (that's how I call her actually,) bought a house out here and she's currently living alone :( ... I want to more than anything visit more often so she doesn't feel so lonely. When we arrived and I saw the number on her house, 403, I immediately liked it and felt like it was a good sign. Throughout these last couple of days I've gotten a really strong feeling like I should be here, in this area. I man, ALL of my closest friends live up here, I don't have any close friends my age back in Houston. UT is also here, my friend is single and living alone, when I mentioned to her that I had these very strong yearnings to move back here she immediately supported them and encouraged them. I could live with her, pay rent, work and go back to school. I'd get to see my friends and live the life I was meant to live, only this time around I'll be much wiser and prepared to achieve and succeed.

I want it badly. I don't think I can do it immediately, but perhaps within the next year or two I'll be able to pick up and move up here. In the mean time, I'll continue working on my immediate goals.

I feel big changes happening, and I am sooo excited to welcome them into my life.

I am loved by my loved ones, I am incredibly blessed, and I thank the Universe for providing me with what I need in my life in order to stay true to my path. :)