Friday, May 24, 2013

Kitchen Witchery Keeps Me Sane... (PBP 2013 wk 22)

I'd like to think that the art of cooking has been in my blood since I was a child. I started cooking, or well, I was attracted to the kitchen from an early age.

I clearly remember watching my mom cook our delicious meals daily, and sometimes, I was even allowed to help her flip tortillas. There's a key to cooking flour tortillas the right way, you flip them 3 times: you put it on the "comal" and allow the surface to bubble a bit leaving it undercooked, you flip it and allow the second surface to cook completely, you'll know this because the tortilla will start puffing up like a balloon, you then flip it back to the first surface and allow it to finish cooking. I was about 7 years old, and I absolutely fell in love with the kitchen.

As the oldest sibling I've always been in charge of feeding my two younger sisters. Both of my parents worked, and I was given the responsibility of taking care of the household from an early age.  I spent most of middle school and high school in the kitchen cooking dinner for my sisters and my parents lunch for the following day. 
I can't say that I always liked this responsibility, in fact, there were times when it overwhelmed me, but I had to do what I had to do in order to help my family. 
As I grew up, my love for the kitchen only evolved. I have this natural ability to create savory and flavorful dishes out of mostly anything.
My soul card is the Empress, and I feel it clearly depicts my motherly nature. I absolutely love feeding people. I love it more when my food gets positive reviews. I sometimes worry that people will not like my food because I tend to improvise on the spot, but most of the time it turns out pretty yummy.
I feel the same way about spellwork. I'll find a spell that speaks to me, and I'll adapt it to resonate with who I am. I'm quite good at coming up with meaningful spells that get the job done.
When I first was introduced to The Kitchen Witch through my eclectic path, I knew that I possessed the ability and inspiration to make magickal meals that would not only nourish my loved ones but also help them with whatever needs they had.
I'm still the cook of the household. My mother no longer cooks, she's lost her touch he-he. My youngest sister and roommate doesn't know how to cook, so of course I am in charge of the kitchen. Which actually helps me, and consequently them to live harmoniously.
Every meal I make, is full of protection, love, and prosperity. My herb garden is full of all the ingredients I need to fill my meals with the magickal kick they need. I have a pantry full of dry herbs and a head full of knowledge.
I'm not saying that we are perfect, in fact, my family clashes quite a bit. I've found that through cooking I can deflect a lot of tension, drama and negativity. I cook with love and it shows in every meal.
Not to toot my own horn, but I can honestly whip up a meal out of whatever I find in the fridge and pantry. My repertoire of meals includes traditional Mexican meals, American cuisine, Italian, Chinese, Thai, Vietnamese, south American food, and eclectic meals which I can adapt in almost any fashion. I'll add a pinch of magick and voilà, a filling, nutritious meal, that's not only delicious but magickal.

Cooking honestly keeps me sane. I clear my head from whatever issues or drama that's currently afflicting the family, and the meal just comes to mind. I know exactly which ingredients I should use to maximize the spell's strength, --which will help them release stress, deflect negativity or attract money-- and I'll just cook up a storm.

I've embarked on the journey towards perfect health. After my 5 day veggie juice cleanse I thought I'd be able to turn vegetarian, but of course, that wasn't the case. I love meat, chicken, and fish waaay too much to give it up. So, instead, I've compromised with myself. I still have no intention of consuming carbs or sugars, which is absolutely HARD AS HELL!!! I've come to the conclusion that I will eat solids which will include meat, chicken or fish along side a large serving of veggies on the days that I can eat and on the other days I'll do my veggie fast. This way I can give my body a rest in between processing food. I've already lost about 12 pounds and I've been doing this since last Wednesday.

I'm optimistic about this journey. It is hard, but it will be worth it. I have to keep praying for help from the angels and guides. It's so hard not to eat sweets and carbs. As of the past couple of days I've been going through carb withdrawal and it's kicking my ass.

Just last night I made dinner, my own concoction of course. There was some week old cinnamon bread and whole grain bread that I definitely wanted to utilize, so I made bread pudding. And let me tell ya, it was PACKED with sweets and yummy goodness. I did not try it of course, but I was sooo close to breaking my diet. Even now, I want to walk downstairs and stuff my face with at least 3 pieces of that yummy goodness. But I won't. I've come to far to give in to temptation.

I am constantly craving subway sandwiches, flour tortilla tacos, and sweets. Withdrawal is raging within. I need help. I've worked on some spellwork to help me through this, and I have faith that I will get through it. I have a hard road ahead of me but I have the will to carry me through it.

I'm excited, and hungry but I rather take care of my body than give in to my cravings.

Friday, May 17, 2013

Juicing, Oracle Messages & Magick (PBP 2013 wk 21)

I've taken on the challenge of healing all my problem areas. I want to be healthy and happy... truly healthy. I want a real relationship, actual intimacy, and love. I want to not be afraid of what relationships bring.

I want to be everything I am meant to be. My body is my only temple and I have not taken good care of it. It's been mistreated and abused for way too long and I've suffered the consequences for longer than I can handle.

I tried the 21 day meditation challenge - Journey to Perfect Health, but didn't make it past week 1. I'm giving it another go, along with some magickal work that will support my need to become dis-ease free.

For a while I'd lost hope in finding the solution to my problems. I'd almost given up on myself when I got very clear messages that urged me to keep at it.

My weekly readings have shown me that I should expect a miracle in the most peculiar of ways.

I was doing a daily reading with my oracle decks and my tarot deck, but decided to switch to weekly readings instead. I've started to work with vision boards and I'm finding it very useful to meditate on the cards I pull during each reading. I feel that a week is enough for me to truly understand the message the oracles give me. I currently have the oracle cards that I pull on my wall, I've included affirmations, positive thoughts and the daily mantra from Journey to Perfect Health.

I work with Earth Magic, Healing with the Fairies, Romance Angels, Archangel Raphael, Archangel Michael and Oracle of Shadows and Light. I know that it may seem a bit over the top, but I've found that when I work with different decks I get a bigger picture of the areas that are important in my life at that given time. I shuffle and pull one card of each deck in that order. The messages are usually pretty clear.

For the past two weeks I've gotten the same messages from four different decks. One week I got Expect a Miracle Healing from Archangel Raphael and Innocence from Archangel Michael. At the time, I was hoping that the Miracle would manifest but didn't really understand the Innocence card. After that week was over, I felt overwhelmed and hopeless. I almost gave up. It was an emotional week, I had a fall-out with a guy I'd grown attached to, things seemed to simply fall apart.

Imagine my surprise when in my moment of despair I did my reading, and guess what came out as my first two cards. Childhood / Innocence from the Earth Magic deck and Miracle Healing from Healing with the fairies.

Message received!

This was just the message I needed to hear. I was filled with hope once more. I knew my guides were giving me a very clear and specific message. They were urging me not to give up on myself.

It's like I got a second wind.

There was a new moon that week and I decided to ask for help and guidance. I needed support, so I harnessed the energy from the new moon and asked for help. I worked on a cleansing bath / road-block remover and felt really positive afterwards.

I was still dealing with my guy issues, but definitely felt way more positive, stronger, determined. I did my reading the following Monday and in spite of my doubts over my love life, the Romance Angels' message was that my feelings were real, and worth exploring.

I can't say that my actions were logical, I let my jealousy get the best of me and acted on impulse. Which had some hurtful repercussions....

I faced the issue head on, confronted my "friend" and decided to let him go. I don't like to feel unhappy or rejected, and if this guy has that big of an effect on my emotions it means that I care more than I should. Not that there's anything wrong with that. I give love freely. I truly care about him, but I don't like to feel sad, and clearly, he's confused about the way he feels about me. I know that he cares, I can feel it, but the timing is wrong. The Romance Angels advised me to be patient, "Divine intervention" came out, and coincidentally the message was about timing. The angels are working on this relationship, and it's not yet ready.

I had to take control though, I could not get past his latest rejection. So I told him what was on my mind, everything that I felt, and wished him the best of luck. I know that it was the right thing to do. I followed my heart. After I sent that message and got his response I felt lighter. I knew that my message had hit home, he tried to apologize once more, but I'd said all I had to say about the matter.

I'm still waiting for him to call in a way... I'm no longer emotional, or upset because I've let him know how I really feel, it was sort of a closure. I feel great actually. I miss him. but alas, I need to focus on myself anyway. It's not like I'm ready for a relationship ... I need to take care of me first.

I have other suitors... that's never an issue. I'm quite charismatic and not that bad looking, so guys are always interested. I'm just cautious...

The ex is still in the picture, reaching out, trying to convince me to give him another chance. I've certainly given him a piece of my mind... I do NOT hold back anymore. I care about him, but he's so damaged and lost.... and, as much as I'd like to help him, he doesn't really want to help himself, so my efforts will be in vain.

So that's that.

I've had a spell on my mind for a while, it hadn't come to full completion until Thursday night actually. The moon entered my sign and I was filled with this determination to access as much help and support as possible. I called on the Ancestors, guides and Angels and I trust that they will be helping me along the way.

I started on a juice fast Wednesday. I plan on going for 5 days, until Sunday/Monday. After this fast, I plan on going vegetarian for a few months. I believe that juicing and veggies will help me nourish my body and bring it back to perfect health.

I've been considering holistic alternatives or Chinese medicine, but have yet to make up my mind on where I should go.

I feel good about the progress I'm making. My horoscope advised me to seek outside help... it also tells me that this is an auspicious time for wish making. The Universe is supporting me and I can manifest anything I truly want.

I want to be healthy, I want to be happy, I want to be who I'm meant to be.
I want to have an intimate love relationship and I know that it's in my future, but I first need to take care of myself, otherwise I won't be comfortable.

It's time to take control of my life. I am who I am, and I'm not afraid to show it.


Friday, May 10, 2013

Justice, Jera, and my Journey towards Happiness & Prosperity (PBP 2013 wk 20)

For this week's Pagan Blog Project  I decided to talk about Justice, Jera and my current Journey towards Happiness and Prosperity.

I'm actually having some mixed feelings about the meaning of Justice. When I think of Justice I think of Karma, balance, and fairness above all. The RWS tarot deck depicts Lady Justice sitting solemnly on a stone bench while holding a balanced scale on her left hand, and a sword on her right hand. To me, this represents how Lady Justice is always weighing situations, actions, people, etc.. she weights both sides and her verdict is the ultimate Karmic retribution. Her right arm holds the sword which will pardon or punish. Her robes are red and green, which to me, signify passion and growth. You can see her foot peaking out of her red robe which shows her core is pure.

I regularly trust the Universe in it's infinite wisdom... I am genuinely a caring individual. I have a strong set of beliefs that compel me to stand up for those who can not stand up for themselves. I'm a GLBTQ advocate, I'm highly political, and very liberal. In fact, my facebook wall is full of political memes, articles, statistics and facts that pretty much disprove and republican / conservative fear mongering bigotry.

I feel that in this day and age we MUST stand for what we believe in, otherwise we will be taken advantage of by those who have the means.

I'm not a lesbian, but I have many friends in the community as well as a sibling that is one, and I strongly believe that they have just as many rights as any other citizen in this nation. The reality of life is this, you can not impose your religious views / homophobic fears on the rest of society simply because you're not comfortable seeing two people of the same sex kiss / have sex. Love is Love and nothing or no one can limit the amount of love you give or receive.

One of Mahatma Gandhi's famous quote is "Be the change you wish to see in the world." I follow this with all that I am because it resonates with my belief system, it resonates with who I am. I simply can not stay quiet, follow the crowd and only speak up when things affect me. I've tried, it doesn't work. I spend more time and energy trying to keep my views to myself / not standing up for those that are clearly misjudged than if I were to just follow my intuition and speak up.

I could go on and on about all the political injustices that are currently going on with our government, but that would take forever and this isn't a political blog. Besides, my facebook wall is already filled with all these rants.

I feel, that I am a good human being. I have my low moments and I sometimes turn bitchy and angry, but I am not ashamed of this. I am human after all.

I pride myself in being a good friend. I am there for my friends when they need me, they value who I am and respect my guidance and advice. I love that. I love giving what can not be easily bought. It is part of my life's purpose to help others get through difficult situations and low points in their lives.

I guess where I'm going with this is the fact that sometimes, even when we follow the rules, when we give and help others, bad things still happen.

Last Friday, I felt as if the Universe was punishing us. I kept asking myself, "Why would this happen? Why would this happen to my mom?" I didn't understand, I felt that since we were good hard working individuals that it was simply unfair. As a witch, I keep my family protected above all. I honestly couldn't understand why such things would happen when I've been so meticulous about keeping everything together.

My mother called me Friday morning, she was hysterical. I was busy working on some magazine issues for my sister's boyfriends business; and all of the sudden, I get this call with my mom on the other line crying hysterically. She tells me they've broken into the company's car and have taken EVERYTHING she has. She was heading to Austin that same day and had some money that belong to my aunt as well as money she had earned doing some extra jobs. The fuckers that broke into her car got away with $600+ cash, plus about $1200 in credit card purchases.

They ripped us off even though I immediately got on the phone and started the tedious task of cancelling / reporting credit cards stolen.  The whole time I kept asking my guides and angels why something like this would happen when we were so close to being ok.

... and then, for some reason I decide to check a bank that we hardly use; we had some loans out on
one of the accounts and I wanted to make sure no purchases were made with those cards. Imagine my surprise when I speak with the representative and find out that there's $411 dollars in the account we no longer used. Apparently I kept making payments after the loan was fully paid and there was this extra money just hanging out in that account. The representative was kind enough to transfer the money into our main account. My mom was absolutely relieved to have found that money. We lost $300, [the other $300 were my aunt's] and we found $411, which definitely came in handy.

After dealing with all the hassle of reporting everything that was stolen, calming my mom down, and assuring her everything would be ok, I finally had a moment to let everything sink in. I allowed myself to let it out, to lose it, to process. I held it together all day, I kept calm, I took care of what needed to be done, I was the voice of reason, the one that made everything better. Once I was all alone and everything was taken care of, it all sunk in.

Those fuckers emptied our bank accounts, made charges on credit cards and got away with cash that we desperately needed. They had my mom hysterical, and crying, I snapped at my sister and made her lose it at her job.

This incident was not something we deserved, it wasn't karmic retribution, it wasn't a random event.
This had purpose, an intention.

I'd seen some money issues during my tarot readings; at the time I thought it referred to our constant struggle to make the bills on time. It also showed someone that influenced these events and my family coming out of it stronger than before. At the time, I interpreted it differently because of the positive cards in the future position. After second analysis I realized that all this shit was someone's intention.

I became enraged.

I was so overwhelmed with rage that the only thing I knew would give us some retribution would be to take care of whomever was responsible for this fucked up situation.

I'm way beyond the Wiccan tradition which states only good should be sent out to the Universe. I started off strongly Wiccan, but as I experienced life and the cruel reality of how many people behave sending out curses and negativity, I realized that the only way to deal with these fuckers is to give them a taste of their own medicine. I'm not ashamed, I don't feel guilty, I have owned up to my actions and the consequences that they bring.

The only time I act is to protect my family or return whatever fucked up shit they send our way... and let me tell you, I'm quite good at it.

I tried to let it go. I tried to be the bigger person and trust in the Universe, trust that Justice would be served. I even meditated on it, and tried to release my anger but I simply could not do it. And let me tell you, I am one strong pacifist, so for someone to enrage me to that point, means they had to push me hard enough for me to push back.

I started on the curse I had in mind, I wanted to hurt these people and remove them from our lives once and for all... and I even stopped a few times along the way, but every time I questioned my actions, the image of my hysterical mother would come to mind. To top it all off, I also got these very clear and vivid images of these people making those fucking purchases at Walmart. They were so clear, that the second I envisioned them, I was enraged all over again. I knew then that I could not, and would not let it go.

While in the middle of rite, one of the vials that I was going to use completely broke. I keep my oils in small boxes and I had never had issues with broken vials. Imagine my surprise when I drop the box and hear glass breaking. The only vial that broke is the one that I'd plan on using.

I wanted to take it as a sign that maybe I should stop. I immediately contacted Jess Carlson and asked for advice. She told me that the energy was high and that I should keep going, which is what I was doing anyway.

Even if I wanted to stop, I simply couldn't.

I was able to save whatever was left of that vial and finished my curse stronger than when I began. I returned whatever they had sent our way, and added a kick for sending it in the first place.... anyone involved with that incident is certainly getting a taste of karmic retribution.... and then some.

I don't feel regret, I don't feel bad, I don't feel anything. They deserve it.

Like I've said before, I'm done playing doormat. I'm done being the nice girl. If you push me, I WILL push back ... and I WILL win.

I could have waited for Lady Justice to weight this out and eventually give the parties responsible for this a little karmic retribution, but honestly, this needed a push.

Which leads me to the next topic of this blog...

Jera, “Patience up to a point. Know your time, but work your wyrd always.”

I really love Rune Secrets. This site is absolutely perfect. It gives a different perspective of each rune while making them relatable and easy to understand. I love the quotes that are at the top of each Rune's analysis, it helps me grasp the concept of the overall energy of each rune. This site is my go-to website when I'm studying the runes; I keep it bookmarked for whenever I do my personal readings. I'll read up on the entire analysis taking note of whatever my intuition tells me, and usually I'll get a very specific and clear message from my rune casting. I've been learning the runes adamantly and I absolutely love them, they resonate with me on a completely different level than the Tarot or oracle decks.

Jera means "Year" literally, esoterically, it means harvest. Jera is the "[r]une of harvest and reward for, or reaction to, right actions in a horizontal (naturally ordered) cyclical process. [It is the] rune of peace on the land and in the heart."

The energy of this rune vibrates with cycles, progress, biorhythms and good harvest, the right effort one makes with every action. It governs the "realization of the cyclical nature of the multiverse, invoking the power of time and cycles." It is about manifesting and initiating gradual and lasting change in the flow of life. Jera has "an unstoppable energy, gradual but unrelenting, unhurried but persistent..."

"Jera is a rune of patience and movement," it has to do with "right timing." It states that everything you need in life, will come to you at the perfect time. What I find interesting about Jera is that it "can magically speed things up or slow things down, and manipulation of subjective time in this manner is governed by this rune." We reap what we sow, and Jera will mirror our actions.

I worked with this Rune during my Return-to-Sender spell to help me speed up the Karmic smack those fuckers needed. I focused my intention on letting them rip what they sow. I've had patience up to a point, and I've known my timing was for the best. I know that they WILL get what they deserve.

We are doing much better. That incident was only a minor setback, and like my cards showed, we are coming back stronger than ever.

I've done some house cleansings, as well as personal and family cleansings. I've reinforced my protections, and made protective talismans for my family and loved ones.

I've decided to embark on a Journey towards Happiness and Prosperity.

I'm focusing my energy on creating a happy environment at home while helping my family and loved ones with any magickal aspect they might need.

We have the ability to manifest our own lives however we see fit. We attract and create what our minds envision, this is the reason why we must keep a positive outlook on life.

We might come across obstacles and blocks that may seem too hard or too difficult to overcome, but if we trust in the Higher Powers we will learn the lesson behind each unfortunate event. This, in the end, makes us wiser and stronger.

My mom no longer carries all her cards with her, she only carries her debit card. She is mindful of all the negative people in her life, and we are taking the measure to protect her from any curse that may be sent her way.

We appreciate the blessings we have in our lives. The fact that we are living together, happy, with unconditional love. Yes, we might have altercations with one another, we might fight and argue at times, but at the end of the day, we know that we love each other... and Love trunks everything else that might try to destroy it. We are a strong bunch, and we know it.

Friday, May 3, 2013

Intuitive Spellwork (PBP 2013 wk 19)

At times I'm still surprised by the level of intuitive guidance I receive when it comes to creating spells and working magick.

As of lately, I've been working with the Runes. I actually got my set of Runes from Jess Carlson and I have to say, these are so honest and straight to the point. I always get the guidance I need at the time of my reading.

I have this long ritual when it comes to reading my own cards. I first cast a few Runes, as I do this I get the opportunity to learn about each Rune which I've found really resonates with me. I absolutely LOVE Rune Secrets and it is my go-to site when I want to connect with the Runes of the day.

I also do a life spread and anchor which I picked up from this one Tarot How To book. I didn't really connect with the rest of the book but this spread has proven to be useful. I really like how it gives me a glimpse of every aspect of my life. I follow these spreads with my own extended version of the Celtic cross, which is quite long. And finally, I do a 6 different Oracle spread for overall guidance. I was doing this daily, which seriously takes FOREVER... but it feels right. I get so much information [sometimes too much] which helps me see where I am at any given moment.

These readings even help me with spellwork! The runes specifically. I then get reassurance from the oracles and a better understanding of what's going on from the Celtic cross.

I've decided to cut back on my daily readings in order to focus on more tasks that I've been neglecting.
I have to admit that I'm a Tarot neebie. I'm enrolled in Jess Carlson's In The Cards Tarot class. It's an 8 week course that teaches us how to read the cards intuitively. I'm behind already as it was expected, but I'm learning so much from the group and the assignments that being behind isn't really as upsetting as I thought it would be.

I find it hard to keep up to my schedule and post as much as I'd like, I mean, come on, I'm suuuuper behind with the Pagan Blog Project! There's always so much to do! I have sooo many unfinished blog posts from past weeks that I simply don't finish and therefore never post. :/

But alas, I am catching up with life... in every aspect. I'm working on myself, managing my time better without squandering my energy. It feels good.

That's what I mean about Intuitive spellwork, I am getting great guidance from my oracle decks which are helping me optimize myself.

I've come to the conclusion that I need to stay true to myself by any means necessary. I wasted so much energy trying not to help others during the past few weeks because I felt unappreciated, when in fact, it took more out of me to be selfish than to simply give.

I've accepted this... it's part of my life's purpose, so why fight it?

I've been blessed with an apt ability for spellwork. Things just make sense, links happen even before I realize I'm working on a spell. Higher guidance shows me the way. It seriously amazes me how easy it is to come up with a strong spell that fulfills the exact needs of whatever issue I'm dealing with... it's uncanny.

I love that. Just earlier today I was working on some spellwork to help my sister and her boyfriend , the candle was positively humming with energy. The Runes I needed to complete the spell simply came to me. I trust that every single sigil used will help in it's highest way.

I love magick.

I seriously kept muttering that to myself as I crafted... 

Everything makes sense. Things fall into place right at the time when you mostly need them. You just have to trust... ask for help, and accept it. Trust that your magick will manifest because you've made it so, it's an incredible feeling.

I love being in touch with nature, the elements, elementals and magickal beings that help and guide our every step.

Intuition is at times taken for granted. Fear is the cause of this.

I've let go of my fear. When you work from a place of love, you really can't do wrong.

I'm a young witch, confident in my abilities and eager to learn as much as the Universe has to offer...

I am open to all teachings. I love knowledge. The more we learn the better we understand ourselves, our surroundings, and others. I don't think I could give up my path... it's part of me as I am part of it and every single resonating energy within our Universe.