Saturday, March 31, 2012

My very first Pagan Blog

I keep a journal, but it definitely doesn't compare to the pressure I'm feeling about this first blog. I literally, JUST joined The Pagan Blog Project. I don't know what happened, or what came over me, but as I was listening to season 3 of The Modern Witch podcast I realized I wanted to participate. I didn't really know that this was open for all pagans; I thought it was for serious authors, bloggers, or authority figures in the Pagan world.

When Rowan mentioned the details and requirements, my interest piqued. It feels a bit hazy now, I remember thinking "hey, you can do that. wouldn't that be fun?"

To be honest, it was just a thought. I didn't really think I'd join. My last blog was on MySpace... about ... a decade ago? haha WOW I feel old. No one is on MySpace anymore, I don't even remember my account information. (Which is a shame, I used to blog on a daily basis, and back in the day they were really intense teenage angst filled subjects hahaha.) Note to self: Definitely find out a way to access my old journal.

I had NO CLUE about where people Blog now days. I googled Blogging and somehow I came across Blogger; little did I know that it's connected to Google! yay! I love Google.

Next thing you know, I'm thinking, "well, just check it out." I created a new account on Google and voilà! Here I am rambling about how I got involved in The Pagan Blog Project. haha.

Today is the weekly deadline for the Blog; I would've loved to submit one on time. I'm still trying to decide on my word... "G." For some reason I want to blog about God and Goddess, Lord and Lady, the Divine, Spirit...
I'm still in the brainstorming stages. There's so much I'd love to write about, but nothing concrete, as of now it's just a bunch of God and Goddess related ideas... my thoughts are all over the place.

I feel like I need to warm up first. Hence this try-out blog.

I've yet to come out of the broom closet... well, sort of. My immediate family knows and surprisingly enough, they are very accepting. I did not expect that... at all. haha

My closest friends know I'm a witch, and they love it! I have been truly blessed.

I'm still very careful about who I tell about my new found path; I recently lost a very dear friendship because I'm a witch. My best friend in the whole world decided that she couldn't be friends with me anymore because it went against the bible and her beliefs, she "can't be involved with witchcraft in any way."

 :sigh: It broke my heart completely. I cried for weeks. I'm a Leo, loving, giving & emotional Leo, and well, when I'm hurt .. it hurts.  It's been 5 months since she "broke up" with me and remembering this still gets me teary eyed. I know she loves me, she just doesn't know enough about my path to accept it as another religion. I tried to share, but she would close the subject almost immediately. I respect her and her beliefs, I love her dearly and I hope that she'll come around... after all, I'm still me. I'm the same person she's always known, I'm just following a spiritual path different from her own. I sometimes wonder what her reaction would've been if I'd said "I'm a Buddhist!" instead of "I'm a witch."
I don't blame her though, we tend to fear the unknown, and witches are such a taboo in this culture, not to mention in Christianity.

I wish things were different, but there is nothing I can do to change what is. I pray for her safety, her happiness, her strength and her well-being. You don't stop loving a friend when they no longer are part of your life, they are in your heart and so the love never dies. It hurts, because they are no longer there... the heart longs for them. The heartache I feel for my lost friend reminds me of my last heartbreak.. It's there, always, like a humming empty space that longs for the lost love.

But alas, the love of God & Goddess is so great that immediately after I lost my dear friend's friendship, an old college friend (whom I had fall out with) suddenly came back into my life. ^_^ She is amazing and accepting of my new path; when we finally reunited it was as if nothing had ever come between us. I feel so blessed to have her back in my life. ^_^

I'm surrounded by loving family & friends that are supportive and accepting of my spiritual path. This is a blessing in itself.
Most of them are genuinely interested in learning more about my life as an eclectic witch in training, but because we're too busy living our lives it's hard to keep them updated.
I'd like to dedicate this blog to my friends & family, and share with them as I learn.