Juicing, Oracle Messages & Magick (PBP 2013 wk 21)

I've taken on the challenge of healing all my problem areas. I want to be healthy and happy... truly healthy. I want a real relationship, actual intimacy, and love. I want to not be afraid of what relationships bring.

I want to be everything I am meant to be. My body is my only temple and I have not taken good care of it. It's been mistreated and abused for way too long and I've suffered the consequences for longer than I can handle.

I tried the 21 day meditation challenge - Journey to Perfect Health, but didn't make it past week 1. I'm giving it another go, along with some magickal work that will support my need to become dis-ease free.

For a while I'd lost hope in finding the solution to my problems. I'd almost given up on myself when I got very clear messages that urged me to keep at it.

My weekly readings have shown me that I should expect a miracle in the most peculiar of ways.

I was doing a daily reading with my oracle decks and my tarot deck, but decided to switch to weekly readings instead. I've started to work with vision boards and I'm finding it very useful to meditate on the cards I pull during each reading. I feel that a week is enough for me to truly understand the message the oracles give me. I currently have the oracle cards that I pull on my wall, I've included affirmations, positive thoughts and the daily mantra from Journey to Perfect Health.

I work with Earth Magic, Healing with the Fairies, Romance Angels, Archangel Raphael, Archangel Michael and Oracle of Shadows and Light. I know that it may seem a bit over the top, but I've found that when I work with different decks I get a bigger picture of the areas that are important in my life at that given time. I shuffle and pull one card of each deck in that order. The messages are usually pretty clear.

For the past two weeks I've gotten the same messages from four different decks. One week I got Expect a Miracle Healing from Archangel Raphael and Innocence from Archangel Michael. At the time, I was hoping that the Miracle would manifest but didn't really understand the Innocence card. After that week was over, I felt overwhelmed and hopeless. I almost gave up. It was an emotional week, I had a fall-out with a guy I'd grown attached to, things seemed to simply fall apart.

Imagine my surprise when in my moment of despair I did my reading, and guess what came out as my first two cards. Childhood / Innocence from the Earth Magic deck and Miracle Healing from Healing with the fairies.

Message received!

This was just the message I needed to hear. I was filled with hope once more. I knew my guides were giving me a very clear and specific message. They were urging me not to give up on myself.

It's like I got a second wind.

There was a new moon that week and I decided to ask for help and guidance. I needed support, so I harnessed the energy from the new moon and asked for help. I worked on a cleansing bath / road-block remover and felt really positive afterwards.

I was still dealing with my guy issues, but definitely felt way more positive, stronger, determined. I did my reading the following Monday and in spite of my doubts over my love life, the Romance Angels' message was that my feelings were real, and worth exploring.

I can't say that my actions were logical, I let my jealousy get the best of me and acted on impulse. Which had some hurtful repercussions....

I faced the issue head on, confronted my "friend" and decided to let him go. I don't like to feel unhappy or rejected, and if this guy has that big of an effect on my emotions it means that I care more than I should. Not that there's anything wrong with that. I give love freely. I truly care about him, but I don't like to feel sad, and clearly, he's confused about the way he feels about me. I know that he cares, I can feel it, but the timing is wrong. The Romance Angels advised me to be patient, "Divine intervention" came out, and coincidentally the message was about timing. The angels are working on this relationship, and it's not yet ready.

I had to take control though, I could not get past his latest rejection. So I told him what was on my mind, everything that I felt, and wished him the best of luck. I know that it was the right thing to do. I followed my heart. After I sent that message and got his response I felt lighter. I knew that my message had hit home, he tried to apologize once more, but I'd said all I had to say about the matter.

I'm still waiting for him to call in a way... I'm no longer emotional, or upset because I've let him know how I really feel, it was sort of a closure. I feel great actually. I miss him. but alas, I need to focus on myself anyway. It's not like I'm ready for a relationship ... I need to take care of me first.

I have other suitors... that's never an issue. I'm quite charismatic and not that bad looking, so guys are always interested. I'm just cautious...

The ex is still in the picture, reaching out, trying to convince me to give him another chance. I've certainly given him a piece of my mind... I do NOT hold back anymore. I care about him, but he's so damaged and lost.... and, as much as I'd like to help him, he doesn't really want to help himself, so my efforts will be in vain.

So that's that.

I've had a spell on my mind for a while, it hadn't come to full completion until Thursday night actually. The moon entered my sign and I was filled with this determination to access as much help and support as possible. I called on the Ancestors, guides and Angels and I trust that they will be helping me along the way.

I started on a juice fast Wednesday. I plan on going for 5 days, until Sunday/Monday. After this fast, I plan on going vegetarian for a few months. I believe that juicing and veggies will help me nourish my body and bring it back to perfect health.

I've been considering holistic alternatives or Chinese medicine, but have yet to make up my mind on where I should go.

I feel good about the progress I'm making. My horoscope advised me to seek outside help... it also tells me that this is an auspicious time for wish making. The Universe is supporting me and I can manifest anything I truly want.

I want to be healthy, I want to be happy, I want to be who I'm meant to be.
I want to have an intimate love relationship and I know that it's in my future, but I first need to take care of myself, otherwise I won't be comfortable.

It's time to take control of my life. I am who I am, and I'm not afraid to show it.

^_^

Eager to Earn a Living by Following My Path... (PBP 2013 wk 9)

I'm quite excited about where life is leading me.

For a while --looong while-- things in my life seemed as if they were going from bad to worse. I had to go through many challenges, obstacles, and personal tests before I got to the point where I am now. I can, without a doubt, say that I'm slowly getting back to normal, i.e. who I used to be before my sequence of unfortunate events.

Every day, and each new experience add-on to the learning process that is called living, and I am absolutely thankful for the many blessings I have, and for those that are on my way.

I won't go into full detail in this post because it's a long and heavy subject and quite frankly, I don't feel like reminiscing. I will say this, I've lost a lot, I've also suffered a lot. I lost myself for such a long time... I was simply a shadow of my former self.

The events and choices that lead me to experience such things, although unfortunate, have helped me grow not only spiritually but also emotionally. I've come to realize that the choices I've made in the past --which at first glance appeared as huge mistakes-- have lead me to be in the path I am today.

I don't regret where I am now, because I have come to learn and understand so much about life and our individual paths and purposes. I wish I'd arrived at this place through different means, but I know that if I hadn't made those mistakes I wouldn't have arrived at this conclusion. I doubt I would've ever discovered My True Path, or the Craft.

Dreams have obstacles, otherwise they would be easy to attain.

My background is in chemical engineering and environmental chemistry. In fact, I got into UT's engineering program without really trying. People would say I'm smart --book smart anyway, because I tend to fail when it comes to street smarts-- learning comes somewhat easy to me, but of course I have to feel passionate about it, it has to peak my interest, and keep me interested. I guess it's a Leo thing. We are driven by our passionate hearts.

The series of unfortunate events that plagued my life left me in a state of doom and depression. I was depressed for years. I even considered and planned out a suicide... but that's neither here nor there. I was lost, so very lost and so very alone.

I was able to find the light at the end of the tunnel thanks to Love, the absolute healer. I fell in love, found happiness again and then got heartbroken...
Bad timing, constant interferences from relatives, and ultimately there were events that pointed towards a definite break.

This big break was followed of course by another round of unfortunate events.

C'es la Vie, right? You have a glimpse of happiness and then life reminds you that things are not all rosy pink.

I lost it all again.

The difference this time around was that I'd found the Path. Love had given me strength to find myself again; it helped me by nurturing me and allowing me to slowly realize that I COULD be who I used to be before everything went down the drain.

I realized along the way that I AM STRONG, way stronger than I thought. All these experiences have given me this incredible sense of growth, almost as if I've reached a level of enlightment.

I have lived, loved and lost and I'm not ready to give up. 
I WANT TO LIVE, and I WANT TO BE HAPPY.

I've learned to let go and trust in higher guidance. There's a bigger plan out there, a bigger picture that goes way beyond the limits of time and space. We are living this life and changing with each cycle that the wheel brings into our lives.

You can not fully appreciate happiness if you've never felt sadness, suffering, or loss.

I know that if I trust in higher guidance I will make all my dreams come true.

I know that there will be obstacles, but these too can be removed/overcome. Like the Hanging Man, which represents my soul card, I must see things from different perspectives; I know that every problem has an attainable solution which might not be apparent at first glance. I can attain what I want, I just need to be aware that sacrifice is one of the main keys of this card.

I've sacrificed enough all my life, I understand that there are certain things I must sacrifice in order to reach my dreams. I accept and surrender to higher guidance.

Which leads me to the main point of this post. hehe

I tend to do some background info before I reachthe main point of the post, it's all about the bigger picture for me.

I feel, or well, signs are pointing me towards Tarot and the esoteric.

Not long ago, --actually, before Jess announced the B-school fundraiser-- I was having a heart-to-heart with my sister. We were discussing the reasons behind my inhability to let go of my ex, why I didn't feel ready to date, why I'd been a hermit the past few days.

I admitted that I felt very stuck --I don't have a steady job and this keeps me from contributing as much as I'd like into our household.

She understands my predicament, and in an attempt to figure out what to do with my life she asked me a question that immediately set me to tears... "What makes you happy?"

I didn't know the answer.

It took me a while to regain my composure. Actually, it wasn't until her cat (one that up until that exact moment kept giving me the cold shoulder in spite of my constant attempts at bonding with her) jumps on my lap and starts to purr ... she was comforting me!! I was crying with such pain because I felt so lost and my sister's cat jumps on my lap, gives me love and reminds me that everything will be ok.

Even my sister was surprised since her cat was barely getting used to me.

After I calmed down, and pondered on her question, I realized that helping people makes me happy.

I've always had a knack for giving great advice; my friends tell me how easy it is to talk to me, open up, how I give them strength, hope, support. I'm a great confidant, I've always been this way. This is one of MY main qualities, I am not only sympathetic towards other people, I'm empathetic. I'm full of love and compassion, I see the best in everyone because I see the potential they have to achieve their goals and dreams. I love this about me, and I'm told that it's one of my best attributes.

I like helping people. Yes, I am intelligent, I can do advanced math, physics and chemistry, I have an engineering background and I could potentially make a lot of money this way... there are obstacles that I need to overcome and I know that I will find the way once I reach them, but it will take quite some time.

And, before I can even get to that point, I first have to address the most crucial parts of my life. Like, the fact that I'm not employed and the realization that engineering is not my passion.

As of now, I feel very passionate about the Craft, the esoteric and the Tarot. It makes me happy to be able to guide others, help them figure out how to be happy. I do that now anyway, why not make money along the way to help me reach my ultimate goals?

As it happened, this is when Rowan (whoops, Jess hehe, still gettting used to it) posted the Tarot class and also my mom's friend, Marina asked me to go into business with her.

Is it a coincidence that right when I'm questioniing my life's purpose that I get such clear signs that maybe this is the way towards my dreams?

This isn't the first time this has happened. In fact, when I first embarked in this journey I got a message from the spirit world that adviced me to follow this path and I'd be successful.

Which leads me to believe that maybe this is what I'm meant to be doing?

I honestly don't know.
All I know is that I will trust in higher guidance. If I'm currently being lead towards this path, then I will follow it. The Craft makes me happy. I'm quite apt and passionate about it.

I envision myself more confident about my reading abilities in a couple of months. After Jess's In The Cards class I'll be able to work from home and save money. I have other part time options that can help me become more economically independent. Once I get my car fixed I can work with my friend teaching and tutoring in math, chemistry and sciences --which I'm naturally good at-- save enough money to get back to school and either finish my engineering / environmental chemistry degree which I could use to raise awarness about our environment / find ways to engineer safer eco friendly ways of performing every day tasks / consuming intelligently....

OR environmental chemistry / Psych ... yeah, as of the past few days I've come to the conclusion that this area of study has some sort of meaning to my life's path. I could still help mother earth and people in general.

With the first option I feel I might derail from the current spiritual path I'm following since we focus mainly on the left side of the brain... with the latter, I feel it's more of a balance?

I don't know, I'll figure this out as I go along... I'm trusting in the Universe!

I'M EAGER & WILDLY EXCITED ABOUT ALL THESE EARNING POSIBILITIES AND I CAN'T WAIT TO BEGIN MY NEW QUEST TO REACH MY DREAMS.

Rainy days, perfect time for Relaxation, Reflection & Renewal. (PBP wk 36)

I have to say, I absolutely adore rainy days. I've always enjoyed the relaxing tip-tap of raindrops against the windows, the gentle dancing of the rain as it hits the pavement. The amazingly fulfilling earthy scent that fills the air as soon as the first drops hit the ground.

Rainy days are possibly my favorite kind of days. I feel as if the rain, along with the cloudy skies, give me the perfect environment to relax and ponder. It really is the best environment for reflection.

I love to watch the raindrops, the sound of them is the perfect white noise for meditation. I actually enjoy lightning and thunder. I love them when they are far away and no more than a murmur, or when they are so close and loud they startle me and make me laugh. Everything that comes with rainy days & stormy nights inspires me.

For some, rainy days bring forth feelings of melancholy and sadness, that's been the case for me at times. I feel that if one feels inspired to allow these feelings to emerge, we should let them happen. We should allow these emotions to surface and exit our bodies. 

This energy we've been bottling up needs some type of release; we need to be in touch with our emotions in order to tap into the energy we need to access during spell casting.

I personally love to crawl in bed with a good book, or a good movie. Add hot cocoa and a snuggie and it's the perfect environment for relaxation.

I also love to meditate and reflect during stormy days or nights. I feel that the rain hitting against the window is the perfect soundtrack for deep meditation.

Sometimes I just like to stare out the window and watch lightning strike as I ponder about whatever is going on in my life. It's like the rain puts me in  some sort of trance; I'm aware of my surroundings but not totally present, I'm in my mind thinking, traveling, daydreaming.
 
It's not unusual for feelings of melancholy to arise during these periods of time, I welcome them as they come because these feelings need to be addressed. I find that when this happens I usually come to some sort of awakening or conclusion about whatever issue I'm dealing with at the moment.

It's healthy to have a good cry. Rainy days inspire these emotions. They are the perfect setting for cathartic realizations. Usually after I have an intense emotional outburst I'm left with a feeling of peace and renewal. It's like hitting the reset button. You're spent from all the crying, your body is humming from the release of energy and ready to be filled with positivity. 

Rain represents the element of water, it's associated with the West. Water is like a mirror that reflects our inner most deep desires, our emotions; it inspires us, it heals, it nurtures.
Love resides with the element of water; and just like water, love is fluid, it has no shape because it takes on the shape of the vessel. We are the vessels, and in order to have a healthy love relationship we must keep ourselves in top shape; by nurturing ourselves, keeping ourselves in touch with our emotions and addressing sadness and melancholy as it occurs --taking an active role in the healing process.

It's absolutely necessary to be in touch with our emotions; after all, our magick emanates from the heart. Our intentions are guided by the power of love, our magick comes from love, the love of God & Goddess, the Spirit, our higher self. We send out love and receive it back with the power of attraction. If we're not in tune with this element it might be harder to manifest our desires.

If you haven't danced in the rain you haven't experienced the cleansing power of mother nature at it's best.
It's such an amazing experience, to feel the cool drops soak the body, soak the soul; it releases bottled up energy, it cleanses the body and mind. 
It feels like being kissed by mother nature, surrounded by her love; this love isn't perfect but it's full of energy and healing love. It cleanses the soul and fills it with happiness and positive energy. Overall, it's fun. 

If you haven't cried under the rain you're also missing out on the healing properties the element of water has to offer.
Yes, it seems a bit cliché since these images are portrayed during sappy romantic movies; in reality there's a science to it, rain helps to cleanse the soul exponentially.

I absolutely love rainy days... they're good for the soul and necessary for mother earth. It quenches earth's thirst renewing life with each drop. Rainy days are God sent.