Juicing, Oracle Messages & Magick (PBP 2013 wk 21)

I've taken on the challenge of healing all my problem areas. I want to be healthy and happy... truly healthy. I want a real relationship, actual intimacy, and love. I want to not be afraid of what relationships bring.

I want to be everything I am meant to be. My body is my only temple and I have not taken good care of it. It's been mistreated and abused for way too long and I've suffered the consequences for longer than I can handle.

I tried the 21 day meditation challenge - Journey to Perfect Health, but didn't make it past week 1. I'm giving it another go, along with some magickal work that will support my need to become dis-ease free.

For a while I'd lost hope in finding the solution to my problems. I'd almost given up on myself when I got very clear messages that urged me to keep at it.

My weekly readings have shown me that I should expect a miracle in the most peculiar of ways.

I was doing a daily reading with my oracle decks and my tarot deck, but decided to switch to weekly readings instead. I've started to work with vision boards and I'm finding it very useful to meditate on the cards I pull during each reading. I feel that a week is enough for me to truly understand the message the oracles give me. I currently have the oracle cards that I pull on my wall, I've included affirmations, positive thoughts and the daily mantra from Journey to Perfect Health.

I work with Earth Magic, Healing with the Fairies, Romance Angels, Archangel Raphael, Archangel Michael and Oracle of Shadows and Light. I know that it may seem a bit over the top, but I've found that when I work with different decks I get a bigger picture of the areas that are important in my life at that given time. I shuffle and pull one card of each deck in that order. The messages are usually pretty clear.

For the past two weeks I've gotten the same messages from four different decks. One week I got Expect a Miracle Healing from Archangel Raphael and Innocence from Archangel Michael. At the time, I was hoping that the Miracle would manifest but didn't really understand the Innocence card. After that week was over, I felt overwhelmed and hopeless. I almost gave up. It was an emotional week, I had a fall-out with a guy I'd grown attached to, things seemed to simply fall apart.

Imagine my surprise when in my moment of despair I did my reading, and guess what came out as my first two cards. Childhood / Innocence from the Earth Magic deck and Miracle Healing from Healing with the fairies.

Message received!

This was just the message I needed to hear. I was filled with hope once more. I knew my guides were giving me a very clear and specific message. They were urging me not to give up on myself.

It's like I got a second wind.

There was a new moon that week and I decided to ask for help and guidance. I needed support, so I harnessed the energy from the new moon and asked for help. I worked on a cleansing bath / road-block remover and felt really positive afterwards.

I was still dealing with my guy issues, but definitely felt way more positive, stronger, determined. I did my reading the following Monday and in spite of my doubts over my love life, the Romance Angels' message was that my feelings were real, and worth exploring.

I can't say that my actions were logical, I let my jealousy get the best of me and acted on impulse. Which had some hurtful repercussions....

I faced the issue head on, confronted my "friend" and decided to let him go. I don't like to feel unhappy or rejected, and if this guy has that big of an effect on my emotions it means that I care more than I should. Not that there's anything wrong with that. I give love freely. I truly care about him, but I don't like to feel sad, and clearly, he's confused about the way he feels about me. I know that he cares, I can feel it, but the timing is wrong. The Romance Angels advised me to be patient, "Divine intervention" came out, and coincidentally the message was about timing. The angels are working on this relationship, and it's not yet ready.

I had to take control though, I could not get past his latest rejection. So I told him what was on my mind, everything that I felt, and wished him the best of luck. I know that it was the right thing to do. I followed my heart. After I sent that message and got his response I felt lighter. I knew that my message had hit home, he tried to apologize once more, but I'd said all I had to say about the matter.

I'm still waiting for him to call in a way... I'm no longer emotional, or upset because I've let him know how I really feel, it was sort of a closure. I feel great actually. I miss him. but alas, I need to focus on myself anyway. It's not like I'm ready for a relationship ... I need to take care of me first.

I have other suitors... that's never an issue. I'm quite charismatic and not that bad looking, so guys are always interested. I'm just cautious...

The ex is still in the picture, reaching out, trying to convince me to give him another chance. I've certainly given him a piece of my mind... I do NOT hold back anymore. I care about him, but he's so damaged and lost.... and, as much as I'd like to help him, he doesn't really want to help himself, so my efforts will be in vain.

So that's that.

I've had a spell on my mind for a while, it hadn't come to full completion until Thursday night actually. The moon entered my sign and I was filled with this determination to access as much help and support as possible. I called on the Ancestors, guides and Angels and I trust that they will be helping me along the way.

I started on a juice fast Wednesday. I plan on going for 5 days, until Sunday/Monday. After this fast, I plan on going vegetarian for a few months. I believe that juicing and veggies will help me nourish my body and bring it back to perfect health.

I've been considering holistic alternatives or Chinese medicine, but have yet to make up my mind on where I should go.

I feel good about the progress I'm making. My horoscope advised me to seek outside help... it also tells me that this is an auspicious time for wish making. The Universe is supporting me and I can manifest anything I truly want.

I want to be healthy, I want to be happy, I want to be who I'm meant to be.
I want to have an intimate love relationship and I know that it's in my future, but I first need to take care of myself, otherwise I won't be comfortable.

It's time to take control of my life. I am who I am, and I'm not afraid to show it.

^_^

STICKING to Resolutions: No matter what... SWEAT Everyday... I WILL (PBP wk 37)

I just got inspired.

Was watching TV while I re-arranged my bag of books and this very inspiring commercial caught my attention. I seriously felt like I should and need to be doing that: sweating every day. Sweating every day and releasing my stress that way will most definitely help me keep a clear mind. Sweat rids the body of toxins, exercise energizes and revitalizes the body as well as tightens and keeps the body in shape.

I've been wanting to start back on a workout regimen. I do yoga but not nearly as much as I should.

The last few days my daily tarot & oracle messages have been pointing out my need to connect with Spirit through meditation and yoga; as well as better, healthy eating habits.

I'm not treating my body as I should and I definitely need to make a commitment to myself.

If my body is not at its optimal shape, I can't very well harness all the energy that I need for my practice. As of the past week, I've noticed that I'm way too out of energy. I just want to sleep. I eat like once a day, and then I just want to sleep. Not a great combo...

I might be a bit depressed actually. Stress is getting the best of me and I've been avoiding it by getting lost in books, sleep, or random movies. My sleeping schedule is out of whack, I stay up for most of the night and I'm left with a zombie-like attitude during the day.

All these changes are stressing me out more than I'd like to admit. I can not wait for everything to settle down so I can start my new routine.

I haven't neglected my daily practice, that's one good thing. I still make time to meditate and analyze my actions. I've cast a few times in the past month, but it might not have been my best, since I've been lacking the energy I need for successful spells. I trust my magick, and so I feel that even though I might not be in my best shape the energy I've sent is still working towards it's goal.

I know I've been talking about sticking to resolutions for the past few posts, but in all honesty, that's my biggest struggle as of now.

I first and foremost need to change my sleeping habits, then I can tackle my eating habits. Time management is something I need to get a grip on, otherwise I'll never accomplish everything I set for myself on a daily basis.

I was checking the Pagan Blog Project scheduled page and I have about 15 weeks left to catch up. Feels like more than enough time since I'm missing about 13 letters, he he, that's 26 posts. If I can stick to posting 3 a week I should catch up by the time the Project ends.

I know I can do it. I have it in me to get things done, but for some reason I've been procrastinating. Rowan says that procrastination is your body's way of letting you know that you need rest. I doubt I need rest, I've been resting way too much, I wish I could get to the bottom of my lack of motivation.

Changes are imminent, and necessary. I feel that once things are settled it will be easier to stick to a routine. For now, I plan on sweating every day! There's a new moon tomorrow night, and I plan on asking for some help. I'll start with the new moon, Sunday will be my kickoff for sweating every day. I'm sure that by next weekend I'll have a better grip on my routine.

Having a concrete plan definitely settles my mind. If I approach the issue from all angles and I harness energy from different sources, how could I fail?

I'm making a commitment to myself, I'm sticking to my resolutions and I'm SWEATING EVERY DAY... no matter what.