Back on the Grind

Changes are inevitable.

There's so much going on, ALL THE TIME.
Life can be overwhelming, emotional, but also exciting and very scary; and when we are lucky, we get to experience long periods of joy and carefree happiness.

Happiness. 
It feels almost as if in order to appreciate the good we must experience some bad, you know? to put things into perspective.

2013 has begun with many needed changes. Some very unexpected, while others were even welcomed.

I've been going through quite a lot of internal changes. My immediate circle sees it as another one of my moody episodes. No, I'm exaggerating, I'm not really moody, I'm more of an antisocial hermit when I'm dealing with my own feelings and shortcomings.

I've been meditating and connecting with Spirit everyday, asking my guides and angles to guide me and help me heal. I've been putting my love life into perspective; and with the help of Healing with the Fairies by Doreen Virtue, I've been able to accept and understand that I first need to heal in order to manifest all that I crave, nay, all that I need to live a happy and full life.

It's funny how the Universe gives you all these signs, and continues to place them in front of you until you actually pay attention and recognize them.

About 5-6 years ago, when I was still in college, I'd come home for the holidays and was putting together this new book shelf I'd gotten as a gift. I love books, they are my ultimate passion. I envision myself living in a house with an entire wall covered in books, from top to bottom... sometime in the near future perhaps?

Anyway, one day, my dad gets home with a box full of books given to him by a family friend. He didn't inspect them, he simply handed them to me because he's well aware of my love for the written word. I went through the box and realized that most of the titles were of the new age nature. At that point in my life I wasn't even aware of how important these books would be, I simply kept them because something about their description called my attention.

Years passed and life happened. I hit rock bottom, I went through depression, I lost it all. I found myself again after I found the path. I'm a brand new witch, about a year and a half old? maybe more? I never even imagined I'd be where I am now, living here, growing spiritually as a witch, finding acceptance with loved ones and family members.

All these books that I kept from long ago because I simply couldn't bring myself to throw them out, have guided me further into where I am now.
Ironically, my dad is completely against the esoteric and is skeptical of the path I'm currently in. He found me playing with a Ouia board when I was a young teen and completely flipped out on me. He threw it out and told me to NEVER play with those things again. What would dad say if he knew I was a witch who read the tarot and practiced daily? I wonder if he'll be accepting or if I'll have to hide it... I guess I'll figure this out whenever he makes his way back into our lives.

I wonder if reading these books would've changed my life back when I was under depression. Would I be in a different situation if I'd taken the time to read these books back when I first got them? I guess I'll never know; there's a chance that if I had, I wouldn't have fully appreciated their information and guidance.

I've come to learn and trust that everything that we need comes to us right at the perfect time; all we have to do is believe that this will happen and follow the signs by being in tune with our intuition.

It's hard to stay positive and happy, even when we fully know that our thoughts create our reality. As witches, we manifest what we envision. Like attracts like, the Law of Attraction teaches us to manifest by releasing our wishes and intentions out into the Universe.

We control our thoughts, our outlook changes, we start to see positive reinforcement that shows us that our mental health relies on our ability to deal with overwhelming emotions.

Yes, this is all true. In a perfect world we'd be able to take on any challenge without a flinch. In this reality, life/society can push you down to the point where you almost want to give up. We sometimes get pulled into a vortex of self-pity when we feel unappreciated or unloved. I went through just that this past week.

We are judged in society by what we can offer to others, if we don't contribute then we are no longer entitled to respect. Or at least that's how some people within my circle feel. It seems like everything else that I have to offer counts little when my contribution isn't of the monetary kind. Love isn't a currency. Apparently a potential to make it in the future makes little difference. It's a harsh reality and a cruel realization but one that I needed to hear.

I'm a giver, I give even when I have little to give. I put my needs aside in order to fulfill the needs of my loved ones. I've always been that way, it's a strength and also a weakness. I always hear from friends and family that I'm a great friend and confidant, that they feel safe when with me, that I help and encourage them to achieve their dreams because I always see the best in everyone.

I'm a giver... but most people are takers. I'm at a point in my life where I need to depend on myself only.

Things are changing, and good things are coming. I know they are, I can feel them and I can see them in my tarot/oracle readings. I have faith in the future and I know that I will reach the level of abundance, prosperity, and happiness I crave if I follow the signs I'm given.

Patience is key. In order to keep myself motivated, I must keep myself grounded. I want to be ready for these positive changes.

The Universe is guiding me into this path and I'm going to follow the advice I'm given. Hopefully, if everything turns out as planned, I'll be able to read tarot with much more confidence within a couple of months. I'm taking Jess Carlson's In the Cards 8 week tarot course which is the perfect class for me right at the moment --since I want to go into professional tarot reading.

I figured I can make some money, help others and work on my time. I want a job that will allow me to grow spiritually, one that will accept my belief system, where I won't be judged or criticized for having such a wide range of beliefs.

Marina, our Santera friend wants to open a Botanical/Esoteric store where we will conduct readings, cleansings and spells. Marina already has a large clientele that go to her for any specific needs. She wants to initiate me into the religion of Santeria; she's mentioned something about giving me The Warriors for protection and lowering my angel --these are rough translations of what Marina tells me of course, if anyone has any idea of what I mean please advice?-- which honestly confuses me some. At the moment, I feel somewhat ambivalent about this specific path. I want to be able to learn on my own without restrictions. I understand the spirituality behind Santeria, why they perform certain rituals and sacrifices, etc. I have no problem with this, but I don't want to do it myself (I don't want to sacrifice an innocent animal).

I guess I will deal with that fork on the road when and if we go into business together. As for now, I want to learn and grow.

I am focusing on myself.
I need to be a tiny bit more selfish and less giving... for my own sake anyway.

Lets get BACK ON THE GRIND!!!

Positive Affirmations = Positive Growth (PBP wk 2)

May 10, 2012

I've discovered that the easiest way to reprogram your subconscious is through affirmations. I'll also admit that prior to experiencing affirmations first hand I was more than skeptical about them. I remember thinking affirmations were just part of the new-age-self-help movement. Hehe but that was waaay before I even got involved in the path.

I particularly remember this one episode of Sex & The City where Charlotte decided to attend a seminar to help her move on from her divorce and into finding true love. During the Q&A section she questioned why it wasn't working for her. The speaker immediately responded that Charlotte needed to do her affirmations. Carrie immediately intervened "oh believe ME, She's OUT THERE."
What we, as the audience didn't know at the time, was that Charlotte had true love stored in her future; that's the reason She hadn't come across Mr. Right.

Sometimes, we have to be patient. Good things are stored for us and they will come to us when we're ready, we just have to trust.
In the meantime, we must work with the law of attraction in order to attract what we desire into our lives --love, prosperity, and abundance.

When we're struggling in life and going through lean times, the default can sometimes be despair and negativity. We feel let down, lost and alone. We forget that sometimes things happen to teach us a valuable lesson.

The Universe, Divinity, Lord & Lady, God & Goddess, or Spirit, whatever higher force guides you, WANTS YOU to be happy.
The love stored within you, the love that surrounds you, the love that makes up every living & non living organism is the collective energy of the divine.

YOU ARE LOVED. YOU DESERVE TO BE LOVED. YOU DESERVE HAPPINESS AND BLISS.

You can have it, all you have to do is actively work with your self, using the tools given to you by Divinity to change your mindset, and change your life.


You can work with this energy by reaffirming daily what you want in your life. It's using the law of attraction together with positive affirmations to gather the energy necessary to bring forth your heart's desires. You put out good, happy, loving energy, and you attract it back.


The key to affirmations, at least for me, is quality not quantity.


It's breathing in what I want, full of love and trust while releasing with each exhale what no longer serves me -fears, anxieties, negative feelings.


It's visualizing what I want as I say each line, adding to the image positive emotions and love.


One of my go-to affirmations is one I found in one of my very first witchcraft/wicca 101 books. It resonated with me & I've continued to use it whenever I feel doubtful.

"I trust I am on a path to abundance and happiness, of gratitude and prosperity. 
I am peaceful, calm, filled with the certainty that all my days, from this day forward, are rich and splendid."

Or

"My mind body and spirit are strong. I go after my heart's deep desires. I can accomplish anything. I focus on my goals and have the strength to make them happen. I act in spite of my fears. I choose to be unstoppable."

As I say these affirmations, I imagine I'm on that path. I walk with each breath. I visualize. I trust.I am full of love. I manifest.


The feelings and emotions that back up my affirmations are there, vibrating within myself with each inhale & exhale. They increase in vibrancy until there's nothing but a full body hum.

Affirmations are as easy as rephrasing realistic wants/desires into present tense statements (written out as if you've already achieved your desire).

Repeat these statements with intent daily, or whenever you find the need to remind yourself of what you want, and enjoy the experience.

Say it with emotion, feel your desires manifest. Remember to always use positive words, the present tense, and the most important key: persistence.  

I've been listening to The Secret meditation. Its been only a week, but I've noticed I feel lighter, more energized, less annoyed. =p I need to get in the habit of doing it every night. I've tried to listen to the entire guided meditation but I simply cannot stay awake. I've combined this guided meditation with a chakra-aligning guided meditation that I'd been meaning to try. I've noticed that I definitely feel more grounded and centered.  I have more patience and wake up naturally on or around the time I set for myself the night before.

"I heal daily."

"I forgive and release."

"I am moving forward with love and trust."

"I am grateful for all that I have."

"My life is full of abundance."

"I am peace."